Beware of Your Border Bullies


by Brent Haydey



Are there certain people in your world who question your every move?

Do they block your decision making and steps in building your business?

In this post I will share how these Border Bullies prevent you from achieving your dream and what to do about it.

In the parable, The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson tells the story of Ordinary from the Land of Familiar who has lived an ordinary existence, the same as everyone else.

Ordinary was not happy with his life, always feeling there was supposed to be more. One night he saw a glimpse of his big dream. He decided to leave the Land of Familiar and pursue his dream. He met a great many challenges along the way that all worked to return him to his old life, his old ways, the way things should stay. Some of the battles were within him, many came from others… his Border Bullies.

He faced his Border Bullies and continued to move towards his dream. Then, at precisely the right time Champion appeared and gave the exact support Ordinary needed to overcome the biggest obstacles he faced.

AntiguaWalkI was at a point not too long ago where I, too, chose to break free from a stagnant, ordinary past and begin to move towards my dream.

My adventure began by stretching well beyond my comfort zone to travel to central america. My plan was to go by myself, arrive in a country where I was not fluent in the language, have no pre set plans, need to cross a border into a second country at some point, then fly back home from there. Just writing it out brings back all of the internal fears I felt leading up to my adventure.

What if I could not communicate? Where would I stay? How would I get around? Where would I go? What if I got sick? What if I needed help?

What if, what if, what if!!!

The internal dialogue was loud and powerful. It alone had me second guessing the trip.

Then came along my Border Bullies.

My dad, two of my sisters, some friends, and even the Canadian government travel advisory website all seemed to work hard to talk me out of it. They all expressed their concerns about the dangers, the difficulties, the challenges. They were afraid for me but, more likely was that they were afraid of ever considering doing something like that themselves. Them seeing me and what I was doing was like holding up a mirror and facing their greatest fears specific to this adventure. They weren’t intentionally trying to be “bullies”, however that was the result.

They could have easily been successful in talking me out of this adventure, if I had let them.

Their fears, enhanced my fears. Seeing things like the Canadian government travel advisory against travel there added to it.

Two things kept my plan moving ahead.

One was my continual conscious connection with my dream. My connection with what I would realize with this adventure and what it would deliver for my plans for the rest of my life.

GuatemalaVolcanoThe other was my Champions. One was my wife, then girlfriend, whose adventurous spirit aligned perfectly with mine. The other was my sister, Michelle, who was facing a terminal illness and encouraged me to go and follow my dream and bring back pictures and stories so I could share the experience with her.

Powerful inspiration on both accounts!

I went. I had many fearful moments and challenges along the way. I met even more Border Bullies along the way but I also met even more Champions there to support me in making this an incredibly amazing experience.

Had I succumbed to my border bullies or my own internal fears early on I would have missed out on…

  • seeing a volcano erupt while on the peak of neighboring dormant volcano.
  • watching the sunrise from high atop the treeline on a Mayan temple (with no other human in sight).
  • staying a night in the jungle in a tree house.
  • getting a personal tour of a border town, visiting many locals in their homes.
  • crossing a bay from one country to another in a small fishing boat with only one other passenger on board.
  • living a week on a private island in my own private beach treehouse going diving every day with 2 others and being the only ones diving within miles.
  • Dolphinsdiving with a pod of wild dolphins (a magical experience I will never forget).
  • night diving with the divemaster with lights out and only the illumination of tiny little sea creatures visible. So surreal, as I’d imagine floating in space might be.
  • walking alone along a deserted stretch of road from my diving experience 5 miles to the next town knowing that no one in the world knew where I was at that moment.
  • getting a personal tour of a tiny Garifuna town and then being given a private drumming musical concert by a bunch of local kids aged 4-14.

The adventures I had and the growth I experienced have had a tremendous impact on everything I have done in my life since, including my business.

We each have steps we need to take along the path of pursuing our dreams, in business and in life. There will be Border Bullies along the way who will act as barriers to your dream. There are also Champions out there to help you.

To help you to beware of your Border Bullies…

  1. Write a list of who your Border Bullies are and how they act as barriers.
  2. Talk to your Border Bullies to help them clearly understand your path.
  3. Help some transition from Border Bully to Champion (or at least neutral observer).
  4. Spend less time with those who remain Border Bullies.
  5. Identify your Champions and hang with them more. Let their support in. Find more Champions if you have few or none.

You deserve to have your dream business and to live your dream life. Take an active approach to make it so.


“Life is meant to be embraced, enjoyed and fully lived, not merely endured!”

To your success,


Be an advocate of Entrepreneurial Freedom and the global movement of conscious creators. Please share this with anyone you feel would enjoy the content. I appreciate your support in growing our community of entrepreneurs!


Calm Waters Podcast

Follow here so you don’t miss an episode.

One Wave Academy

Enrich your learning further by enrolling in our online courses at One Wave Academy.

One Wave Academy

One Wave Global

Join a community of people who value work-life balance in way that works for each of us at One Wave Global.

One Wave Global

About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

Ready for your next post? Check out these related articles:

When Inspiration Is Not Enough

You know the excitement you feel when you experience a moment of inspiration or motivation. It has you totally pumped up and ready to go forth and act upon that inspiration in a way like never before. You feel like you’re on top of the world and ready to take on...

Being A Prisoner of Procrastination

Procrastination is a continuing battle that I am winning more often than not lately but it wasn’t always that way.  How about you? Do you procrastinate? Most of us do? You see it, you know it, you don’t like it when you do, yet you still do it… right? Until I looked...

3 Steps To Focus On What Matters Most

One key to being productive is your ability to focus on those things that matter most to you. How hard is that for you? We’ve all got to do lists and urgencies do come up (usually other peoples urgencies) but what about those things that really matter most. You know,...