Who Are Your People And Who Are Definitely Not


by Brent Haydey



Your PeopleWho are your people?

Do you know?

Many years ago I was asked that question by a coach and mentor of mine. It kind of caught me  off guard as I hadn’t really thought about it very much. Who were “my” people and why were they my people. I stumbled through an answer in the moment that seemed to make sense to me.

Active… health conscious… adventurous… beach lovers… Mac lovers… middle path focused… entrepreneurial… 

Later, as I reflected on what I said, it dawned on me that mine are people who share some of the same core values that I do, have a similar world view as I do, and like some of the same things as I do.

They are the ones I feel most at home with and most energized by.

The next question my coach and mentor asked was how much time I spend with “my people”? I discovered that at that time it was not nearly enough… and that was part of the problem I was experiencing.

Now, over the years I have refined and grown my understanding of who they are and I do take steps to spend as much time as I can with them.

I’d encourage you to do the same. Why?

Who Are Your People?

You’ve heard the old saying… you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Well what do you want that average to look like?

But lately I’ve been seeing all too much of those who are NOT my people. Spend long enough on social media and watching the news and it will become clear. The ones who leave you feeling angry, frustrated, disillusioned, or saddened. Feelings that can spill over into other things you are doing or other areas of your work or life. Not good!

There is so much online in social media, in the news on TV, in any number of Zoom calls happening, and even in every day conversations that ultimately seems to turn to the discussion of the pandemic, the economy, the oil and gas sector, on government, and on many other divisive topics.

With it many seem to be very vocal about their opinions and what they think of those who are not in agreement with them. Yikes. Not sure about you but it’s left me even more clear about who I want to spend time with.

I do tend to “live and let live” and know that I can learn a lot in listening to different opinions on a wide range of things but there comes a limit.

That’s when I know it’s time to either disconnect and stop associating with those not aligned with me, who I am, and where I am headed… or to simply unplug for awhile and connect with those who are. 

So my challenge to you… take some time to know who your people are and to be clear of who are definitely not.

Choose to spend more time with your people as you remain open to continuing to grow and learn (even from those who are not). Think about that average you are setting yourself up to be.

I think you’ll be happy you did!

Need support in really knowing who your people are, who they are not, and creating change so you can spend more time with them? Contact me… I know I can help!




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About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

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