The Renegotiation Trap


by Brent Haydey



The ability to renegotiate allows much needed flexibility in a busy life. It’s a tool that I teach to my business clients as well as my health clients. It applies universally. We need to set intention through goals. We need to set an action plan to move toward those goals. We need to schedule our action plan to actually make it happen. Then we need to use renegotiation occasionally when unforeseen circumstances pop up in our hectic world.

That might be a deadline moved up. It might be a child getting sick requiring our care. It might be a long delay due to very heavy traffic. It can be all sorts of things. When they occur we renegotiate with someone else or with ourselves. We acknowledge the need to change a plan and suggest and schedule an alternative.

When done effectively all involved move forward feeling good about it.

The trap comes when we get into the (sometimes unconscious) habit of renegotiating as an excuse for avoiding what we really need to do. Why do we avoid? There are many reasons but that’s a story for another day. How many times have you brushed off something or someone rationalizing it with what feels like a great reason for renegotiating, even though you know it is not.

When done with someone else and for no apparent good reason, at least not one the other person sees, if becomes perceived as a broken agreement. Broken agreements lead to loss of integrity and trust and a diminished relationship.

When done with yourself the consequence of broken agreements is diminished self respect and self esteem.

In either case you and your business take a hit. Progress stalls, results are not realized, and entrepreneurial freedom remains beyond your reach.

Avoidance under the disguise of renegotiation happens to all us us now and then. When it becomes habitual it becomes a problem. When it becomes an unconscious habit it is an even greater problem as you won’t even see it happening.

So when you catch yourself in the midst of renegotiation first ask yourself “is this reasonable or am I just trying to avoid something or someone?” 

If you’re avoiding tell yourself the truth. Remind yourself of why you need to do it and how it will move you one step closer to the Entrepreneurial Freedom you desire. 

Schedule it early in the day and DO IT. The mere completion will release anxiety and renew energy, confidence, and focus. Afterward be sure to acknowledge your success very consciously. That will help you from falling back into the trap next time.


“Life is meant to be embraced, enjoyed and fully lived, not merely endured!”

To your success,


Be an advocate of Entrepreneurial Freedom and the global movement of conscious creators. Please forward this to anyone you feel would enjoy the content. I appreciate your support in growing our community of entrepreneurs!


Calm Waters Podcast

Follow here so you don’t miss an episode.

One Wave Academy

Enrich your learning further by enrolling in our online courses at One Wave Academy.

One Wave Academy

One Wave Global

Join a community of people who value work-life balance in way that works for each of us at One Wave Global.

One Wave Global

About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

Ready for your next post? Check out these related articles:

Lessons From Garth Brooks On Family And Business

Lessons From Garth Brooks On Family And Business "I don't know who these 3 girls are but I'm about to find out." join our peer mentor community Ever hear of Garth Brooks? C’mon, of course you have. Even if you’re not much of a country music fan you’ve heard of him. I...

Work-Life Balance. Change This And Its Yours!

Is Work-life Balance a Myth? Not When Framed Right! “It’s a myth. That’s crazy. It’s just not possible.” JOIN OUR COMMUNITY OF ENTREPRENEURS Work-Life Balance! You’ve heard the term. You’ve probably formed an opinion about the concept. Maybe you talk about it with...

When Inspiration Is Not Enough

You know the excitement you feel when you experience a moment of inspiration or motivation. It has you totally pumped up and ready to go forth and act upon that inspiration in a way like never before. You feel like you’re on top of the world and ready to take on...