The Renegotiation Trap

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by Brent Haydey

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08.22.2012

The ability to renegotiate allows much needed flexibility in a busy life. It’s a tool that I teach to my business clients as well as my health clients. It applies universally. We need to set intention through goals. We need to set an action plan to move toward those goals. We need to schedule our action plan to actually make it happen. Then we need to use renegotiation occasionally when unforeseen circumstances pop up in our hectic world.

That might be a deadline moved up. It might be a child getting sick requiring our care. It might be a long delay due to very heavy traffic. It can be all sorts of things. When they occur we renegotiate with someone else or with ourselves. We acknowledge the need to change a plan and suggest and schedule an alternative.

When done effectively all involved move forward feeling good about it.

The trap comes when we get into the (sometimes unconscious) habit of renegotiating as an excuse for avoiding what we really need to do. Why do we avoid? There are many reasons but that’s a story for another day. How many times have you brushed off something or someone rationalizing it with what feels like a great reason for renegotiating, even though you know it is not.

When done with someone else and for no apparent good reason, at least not one the other person sees, if becomes perceived as a broken agreement. Broken agreements lead to loss of integrity and trust and a diminished relationship.

When done with yourself the consequence of broken agreements is diminished self respect and self esteem.

In either case you and your business take a hit. Progress stalls, results are not realized, and entrepreneurial freedom remains beyond your reach.

Avoidance under the disguise of renegotiation happens to all us us now and then. When it becomes habitual it becomes a problem. When it becomes an unconscious habit it is an even greater problem as you won’t even see it happening.

So when you catch yourself in the midst of renegotiation first ask yourself “is this reasonable or am I just trying to avoid something or someone?” 

If you’re avoiding tell yourself the truth. Remind yourself of why you need to do it and how it will move you one step closer to the Entrepreneurial Freedom you desire. 

Schedule it early in the day and DO IT. The mere completion will release anxiety and renew energy, confidence, and focus. Afterward be sure to acknowledge your success very consciously. That will help you from falling back into the trap next time.

Remember…

“Life is meant to be embraced, enjoyed and fully lived, not merely endured!”

To your success,

Brent

Be an advocate of Entrepreneurial Freedom and the global movement of conscious creators. Please forward this to anyone you feel would enjoy the content. I appreciate your support in growing our community of entrepreneurs!

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About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

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