Lessons Learned From Lobsterfest


by Brent Haydey



Our 9th annual Lobsterfest celebration is in the books and as I sit and think about it I am reminded of why we put in the effort to have it year after year.

LobsterfestSo what is Lobsterfest you ask?

Well it goes back to Gail and I getting married on a beautiful beach in the tropics with 48 of our family and friends following us there to celebrate along with us. It was a magical couple of weeks that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Then, when we returned home, things slowly began to change. We all began to drift apart. While in the tropics people from different parts of our lives hung out, got to know one another, and some even became friends who connected more when home. In today’s era of social media it was easy for all to stay connected at some level if they wanted to. With some living in different cities that was cool to see the connections remain.

However, life gets busy, right?

Over time some got married themselves, some began families, some added to their families, some moved close, some moved away, and a few from the older generation, including my mom, passed away. People got busy with careers and businesses and so many other things in life that demand of our time, energy, and focus.

I don’t think anyone really thought about how important it was to maintain relationships at the time though. People drift apart, right? That’s just what happens. Then the talk began. “We should get everyone together again.” “It’d really be great to see everyone again.” “Wow, it’s been too long!” Each time we’d say something like yes let’s do that” but then nothing would happen.

PartyTimeHow Lobsterfest Came To Be 

We knew we wanted to do something, and do something big and something annually so we could all maintain relationships with one another even though life was getting busier and we were all drifting in different directions… but what?

It took about 3 years after our wedding to finally do it but the inaugural Lobsterfest finally happened. 

Why Lobsterfest, you ask?

Well you’d have to go back and watch a particular episode of the show Friends for that. You remember the one where Phoebe says to Ross that Rachel is his lobster because they are meant to be together and lobsters are together for life.

For years Gail’s best friend would always tell her that I was her lobster and that eventually we would be together forever. So when we finally got engaged and announced our wedding plans, the lobster themed fun took off. So, Lobsterfest as the theme to our annual celebration with family and friends just fell naturally into place.

Why Host An Event Like Lobsterfest?

  • Hosting people, especially in our backyard, is something we love to do
  • Having a theme makes it fun (did you check out my vintage Cosmo Kramer lobster shirt?)
  • Seeing many of our family and friends reconnect with each other when they had not seen each other in at least a year is a pretty cool.
  • Seeing some who couldn’t make it every year, reconnect with others they had not seen since our wedding is even better!

LobsterfestYes it takes a lot of effort and time to put together an event like Lobsterfest. It would be easy for either of us to say we’re too busy, we need to focus on work, or it’s too much to keep doing it. 

For me though, all I need to do is remember back to a time in my life when I did use those stories and those excuses far too often. People drifted away from my life, some never to return, while some thankfully have.

We’ve only got so many days here on this earth and I truly believe that maintaining relationships with the most important people in your world is what make much of our time here so worthwhile. I love that we’ve created something that allows us to do so with some of those people. I love when other opportunities arise to stay connected with so many others in my world.

Maybe a Lobsterfest or some other big annual event is not your style. So what is?

I’ve also done some of these…

  • Annual Guys Golf Trip
  • Monthly Dinner Club
  • Weekly Running Gang
  • Coffee Visits – oh so many coffee visits

Do what works for you and if the stories and excuses of being too busy and needing to spend all your waking hours on work stand in your way then we need to talk. 

Reach out today to someone you haven’t talked to or seen in far too long and make an effort to maintain that relationship?

I’m sure it’ll be worth the effort!



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About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

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