How To Ask For Help In Life And Business


by Brent Haydey



How comfortable are you in asking for help when you need it?

Most business owners tend to not let their guard down and appear vulnerable or weak to competitors, to clients, to employees, to partners, and even to family. So when they really need help they do not ask for it. Now that’s a lot of pressure to hold in at times.

That pressure accumulates and can lead to all kinds of problems.

Ask For Help

5 Negative Results Of Not Seeking Help

  • Stress related health issues
  • Inability to get a good night’s sleep
  • Driving a deeper wedge between you and the person may be avoiding
  • A significant drop in personal productivity due to the constant mental distraction of worry
  • Wasting time as you second guess or try to go it alone

So how can you address this debilitating entrepreneurial habit?

The first step is to realize what you are doing, or in this case not doing. When you see that keeping it bottled inside is causing problems such as the ones listed above you can then take the next step to do something about it.

Internal support attracts external support!

If you are off track, feeling the stress of keeping too much inside, and finding excuses to continue to do so then ask yourself…

  • Why don’t I love myself enough to help myself?
  • If I don’t help myself then who will?

Simply asking these 2 questions ought to be enough of a wake up call to summon the courage to initiate a conversation with the person you most need to speak to and ask for help from. As a business owner there are certainly valid reasons for not opening up to certain people about certain things but there is always someone you can speak to and ask for help from. You just need to identify who that is in each situation.

Funny thing is that people genuinely want to help. People in your world right now want to help you.  They truly do not want to see you suffer. They really do want to see you succeed. When they see you taking steps to help yourself they want to help even that much more.

Sometimes all they need is for you to ask. Here’s how.

Critical Steps In Asking For Help So You Get The Support You Need

Ask someone who can deliver the help you need.

Is the help you are asking for within their wheel house? My wife will sometimes ask for my help about work related challenges. Not because I know her work and can offer solutions but to be a sounding board or a venting board to allow her to clear her head and return to things more focused and grounded.

Is it a good time for them to be able to help? If that person you are about to ask for help is dealing with a family health crisis or has some other priority dominating their attention then, even if they want or offer to help, it may not be fair to them and they may not be able to really support you the way you need.

Be specific about what support looks like and the mechanics involved.

If you are not clear about exactly what help you need the other person will likely deliver support in a way they would want it. That may not be what you actually need and can lead to frustration or anger.

If you just need someone to listen then ask for that. If they begin to offer advice or some other form or support gently thank them and then remind them of what you really need.

Ask without expectation, obligation, and free of choice

Remember that you are asking this of someone else. If they say no, respect that. You can ask them to clarity why if you want but demanding or guilting someone will lead to other problems.

If you ask you must be willing to give.

This kind of falls in line with the thought that internal support leads to external support. When you are open and willing to help someone else they’ll likely be more than happy to help you. 

Keep asking until you get it (perhaps to more than one person).

Don’t give up if that first person cannot or will not help you in the way you need. If it’s timing for them, can you wait? If you need to ask someone else, who would that be? Be persistent until you find the help you need.

A great coach will be a great person to seek help and support from, especially if you do not feel you have the people in your world that you can talk to; whether that’s your business or your personal life.

With my coaching support I will work to build trust with you that leads to authentic and open conversations and a chance for you to be vulnerable in a safe space. This powerful benefit of a coach will help you identify, address, and move beyond those major stressors in your business or in your life that keep you awake at night.

Imagine being able to…

  • Alleviate stress related health issues
  • Sleep at night
  • Talk meaningfully to someone you’ve been avoiding
  • See your personal productivity soar
  • Gain energy, time, and an ability to focus on what matters most

Take a step and ask for the help you need when you need it most and if you’d like to explore how I can be that helping hand, contact me and we’ll arrange a complimentary consultation.


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About the Author

Brent Haydey Profile PhotoBeginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.
Learn more about Brent >

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