The desire to have better relationships with the people that matter most in your world is something I hear from business owners all the time. Effective communication is one thing that can really help these relationships no matter what the situation is.
If your relationship is good then effective communication probably played a part in getting it there and will help make it even better. If your relationship is currently not so good then it will help you move it in the direction you want.
So who are the most important people in your world?
- Your significant other
- Your kids
- Your business partner
- Other family members
- Employees
- Friends
- Colleagues
- Clients
- Others?
What is the current state of each of those relationships?
Are you fighting endlessly? Are you avoiding talking? Is it a lopsided relationship in terms of communication with one person frustrated and the other angry, sad, depressed, or something else? Bottom line… are you on an unsustainable path that may ultimately lead to the relationship ending?
That can change if you feel the relationship is important enough.
Now there are all kinds of suggestions on effective communication that you can look into and decide on how to begin to use them (and I’ve linked to a couple below that may help) but there are 3 things you can do that I have found to be a great place to start this process of change.
Establish Effective Communication Using These 3 Tips
Be the change
To change your current reality towards effective communication with anyone starts within you! Yup, if you’re waiting for the other person to change or come around or take the initiative you might be waiting for a long time.
If it’s important enough to you then let go of any blame you are holding onto, summon the courage, and model the communication you want to experience in return. Communication is certainly a two way street but someone’s got to get it started. Let that be you!
When I had a business partner years ago I used to get frustrated when he would not communicate back to me on things I felt were important (and kind of urgent too). I would get worked up about it to the point of the stress disrupting other things I was working on. In my mind he should be communicating with me. It made no sense why he was not. But I wouldn’t simply pick up the phone to chat. In hindsight I was afraid of creating confrontation, which is what I felt would happen. What a huge waste of time and energy.
Ultimately when I did finally summon the courage to bring it up and be the change in the way I brought it up we got onto the same page about communication and timely expectations. Things improved greatly.
Set aside time
As a business owner you are busy, right? It’s an old cliche and often an excuse for not being accountable or not stepping up in doing things that are are important but do not feel urgent… yet!
Well, if making time to have important conversations doesn’t come naturally or easily then set aside time. Schedule it if necessary. If you have good intentions to chat with someone but it always gets bumped for something that feels more urgent then consciously set aside a time. Make an agreement with that person to talk at that time.
Early on, as you are changing your ways regarding effective communication, you will likely need to be more conscious in taking the step. In time as it becomes easier it will become more habitual and then BOOM, your set for continued great chats.
My wife and I have full professional lives and a lot of things going on away from work too. Days and weeks could easily go by without having a real, deep conversation. Being home all the time recently and with all going on in our world we’ve both found it vital to talk more. Whether that is around health, schooling, finances, political or economical things in the news and so much more.
Often by the time our daughter is asleep we just want to relax, watch a show, and call it a night. So we’ve needed to be conscious about creating time to talk. In doing so I think we’ve talked more over the past couple of months than we have in a long time. Something we intend on keeping up into the future.
Get Beyond The Butterflies
Ever get that nervousness inside just before having what you think will be a difficult conversation? A whole lot of “what ifs” swirling around in your head that have you feeling like you almost want to puke!
That alone can cause you to bolt and convince yourself its better to simply leave things unsaid and as they are.
BUT… Change nothing and nothing changes!
In that moment I’ve always been able to centre myself by connecting with my WHY. If you’ve got a powerful, inspiring, and motivating enough reason to overcome your fears and engage in the conversation you are much more likely to do so… and feel much better as you do regardless of how the conversation goes.
A client of mine avoided having difficult conversations with an underperforming employee so avoided doing so. It added to his stress and the constant emotional weight he carried around daily. He said he’d carry that worry home with him and it would impact things with his spouse and kids. It also meant he had to continue to clean up work errors, put put fires, and other things at work that took up energy, time, and focus. It meant he could not dedicate himself effectively to the work he did best and that made the greatest contribution to the success of his company.
With my support he became clear about where things were at and the conversations needed to be had. I helped him overcome those butterflies as he was about to enter into the conversations and… low and behold it went much better than he expected. It led to change over time that lifted and removed that huge emotional weight he had been carrying for far too long.
With these three suggestions you can start onto the path of effective communication with the most important people in your world. It may be a one time needed chat or it may be the start of great chats all the time. Either way this just gets you going.
Take a moment to check out Tony Robbins suggestions on how to communicate in a relationship and watch this excellent TED Talk too.
Tony Robbins – 8 Ways To Improve Communication And Find More Fulfillment
TED Talk by Celeste Headlee – 10 Ways To Have A Better Conversation
Both will give several useful tips that you can incorporate right now.
I think effective communication can go along way towards creating a happier environment at home and at work.
Imagine if you are no longer holding inside all those mounting stresses that we entrepreneurs tend to have.
Imagine being able to talk about your worries, fears, and frustrations as well as your successes and things you are proud of to your significant other, business partner, or others.
Imagine not carrying your work stresses home or your home stresses to work.
How much wasted energy, time, and misplaced focus will you save? How much happier, more productive, and ultimately profitable will you be at work?
How much more quality time will you experience away from work?
Is it worth the effort to create things powerful change in your world? I hope so.
Still feels like too big a thing to overcome? Contact me and we’ll arrange to talk.
A great coach is an ideal person to develop effective communication with who can also help you carry it over to everywhere else in your world too.
Beginning with a degree in exercise science and kinesiology, Brent Haydey has evolved over thirty years as an entrepreneur; building four businesses, and as a health, executive, and life coach.